Stop Sabotaging Your Own Story
You Can’t Be the Main Character If You Keep Casting Yourself as the Problem or putting the side characters on a pedestal higher than you put yourself.
I’m going to hold your hand while I tell you this. You can light the candle, wear the outfit, make the perfect playlist, and look at all the Pinterest boards you want. But, if the voice in your head is still tearing you down, it’s not self-care. It’s performance and emotional avoidance.
You can’t fake self-worth.
If you secretly believe you’re unworthy, unlovable, or too much, it leaks through. Not accepting compliments, over-explaining your emotions, or waiting for someone to leave you.
You’re not broken. You’re just repeating a story because you refuse to put the effort in changing it. You shape your story, Do something about it and this isn’t about delusion or arrogance (I refuse to be responsible for the future narcissists of America program.)
It’s about ownership. It’s how you speak to yourself when no one’s validating you.
It’s how you get back up after failing, ghosting yourself, or spiraling. It’s how you stop romanticizing people who don’t respect your effort, or your time. You need to stop building your identity around self-rejection.
Start small. Notice when your inner monologue sounds like your worst critic, not your best friend. Catch yourself when you’re about to shrink, apologize, or pre-reject yourself.
Ask: What would the version of me who believes she belongs do right now?
It’s resilience. Boundaries. The courage to be seen even when you’re still healing.
You’re allowed to take up space in your own life. You’re allowed to stop performing pain just because you’re used to it.
You don’t have to be obsessed with yourself. But, you do have to choose yourself! Even when no one else is saying anything.
Here’s what actually holds people back from embodying confidence and how to shift out of it:
1. You Flinch at Compliments? Train Your Brain to Accept Validation.
If you dismiss compliments or instantly deflect them, it’s not humility… it’s a sign you don’t believe them.
Do this instead:
Pause before responding. Say “thank you” without an explanation.
Keep a “proof folder” in your journal: kind texts, wins, things that went right. Your brain needs evidence to override insecurity.
Practice receiving, even when it’s uncomfortable. Main characters receive love, support, and recognition. Let it land.
2. You Apologize for Existing? Learn Assertive Language.
Over-apologizing makes you seem unsure, even if you aren’t.
Try this swap:
Instead of “Sorry I’m late” → “Thanks for waiting.”
Instead of “Sorry for bothering you” → “Do you have a minute?”
Instead of shrinking your needs → state them directly. Confident people ask clearly. That’s not rude — it’s self-respecting.
3. You Assume Rejection? Reframe Your Internal Narrative.
Main characters aren’t delusional. But they do separate their past from their present.
Do this now:
Name the old story: “People always leave me,” “I’m too much,” etc.
Replace it with a neutral, true statement: “I’ve experienced loss. That doesn’t mean I’m unlovable.”
Catch catastrophizing in real time. Ask: “What else might be true?”
4. Want to Build Self-Respect? Do Hard Things Consistently.
Confidence doesn’t come from mantras. It comes from evidence that you’re capable.(These build trust with yourself.)
Pick 1-2 daily reps:
Follow through on what you say you’ll do
Move your body
Finish a task you start
Set a boundary and hold it
Final Word:
You don’t become the main character by thinking you’re perfect.
You become the main character by learning to lead your own life with follow-through, and self-respect.
